Children & Vacationing

When I worked in Hightstown, New Jersey about two decades ago, I met a couple who had been married ten years but had no children. They both had good, decent-paying jobs and liked to eat out often and travel frequently. Since I come from a culture where the primary reason for marriage is procreation, their status intrigued me. I was not too embarrassed to ask them why they had no offspring as money certainly was not a problem. To this day, I am astounded at their answer that it was because they loved to travel. I was completely flabbergasted then and still am at such an unusual answer.

It seems that going places was their greatest pleasure in life and having children would be a quite an impediment to their favorite activity. When I asked in a puzzled manner as to why children would curtail this, they answered that their independence would be lost. They could no longer pick up and leave any time of the day if they wanted to go to Las Vegas (one of their most frequented haunts) or one of the islands or Florida, etc. Where would they get reliable babysitters at the spur of the moment if they decided at midnight that they wanted to hit Atlantic City? How could they plan for a nice cruise in November when the children would have to be in school? Where would they leave the kids if they wanted to dash off to dine in New York City on a Tuesday night? They could see a myriad of such problems which they said would be insurmountable. Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill. Had they never heard of summer vacations or Spring and Fall breaks?

Before my wife and I had our first child, we used to go places and enjoy the sights. But we NEVER gave a second thought to how our plans would be ruined if we had kids. We never thought having children would curtail our travel or take away from many of the things we wanted to do. In fact, we looked forward to having kids and traveling with them. I have always wanted to go to the Galapagos Islands and will do so while enjoying every moment of it with our kids. Sharing the experience of the "origin of species" islands with family will be the ultimate in fun and excitement. What are Disneyworld, Seaworld, Six Flags Safari (to name a few) without kids? The wonder in their eyes, their squeals of delight and terror when Shamu jumps out at them, building sand castles in the beaches of Nassau are all best seen through children's eyes. Kids a burden? Perish the thought.

We have a long list of travel plans for our enjoyment with our kids. Going home to see the grandparents every two or three years, lying on the beaches of Hawaii or St. John's or Phuket, visiting Utah and Arizona to see Bryce Canyon, the Grand Canyon or Zion Park are just a few of what we aspire to do. Taking pictures while doing all sorts of wild and crazy things and re-hashing those experiences years later will be something we look forward to. The kids an impediment to all these pleasures? Really? We plan to enjoy our Kenyan safari, trekking in Kathmandu Valley and looking for clams on the coast of Maine with our son and daughter.

Years later when I had moved on to another job, I met another couple who had been married even longer and had no kids. The couple gave me almost the exact same answer when I asked them about their "non-procreation." This couple liked golfing above everything else and had no time or money to spend on kids. I still have not been able to fathom the emotions of those two couples. I have heard many valid reasons for couples not having children but an impediment to travel is not only one of the most bizarre but probably the most selfish one yet. I love traveling with my kids and hope to do a lot more before they are able to travel on their own.